Heyyy

I can’t believe I haven’t posted on here in over a year.

I wouldn’t say A LOT has happened but some things have changed..

Alright so we had another baby boy in February this year, Anderson. He is the sweetest baby ever. He’s just so darn happy all the time. Jameson is four and a half now and he’s in preschool. He loves it. In fact, he called me by his teacher’s name tonight. Emmalyn is three. She is learning so much and she’s becoming more of her own person since Jameson is gone during the day. It’s a lot of fun. About me, I am busier than ever. I am doing college part time right now and it’s going really well. My husband is still in the military. We actually have orders to move to California in a few months.

 

xo

Happy New Year!

I’ve noticed something in myself recently, something I’m a little ashamed of. Since 2013 all I’ve done is be pregnant, have kids, take care of said kids, and that’s it. I’ve become so comfortable in what I do every single day. I don’t do anything new, I don’t challenge myself at all. I haven’t really even learned anything in quite some time. I mean, I read here and there and I might learn something because I saw it on Facebook or whatever but I haven’t really learned. I haven’t had any sort of personal growth other than being a mom. Although in being a mom I have learned patience, pride, and most importantly love. I’m certainly proud of that aspect of my life but I haven’t been taking care of myself. Everything I do and everything I am is my children. I haven’t been me in such a long time that I feel like I really don’t even know myself.

I don’t have anyone to blame for it, no one has been holding me back. Just me. Also, my depression and anxiety which have become more me than I have. I’m so scared of anything new. I guess what I’m trying to say is this year I’m going to focus on me. Yes I have kids I have to take care of and other obligations but this year is about me. My kids are at an age where they don’t need my attention every second, their schedule is pretty predictable, and I can certainly find the time to take care of me.

This is my year. I know everyone thinks the whole “new year, new me” is so cheesy and cliche but I don’t care. This is going to be a year of changes.

I hope everyone has a fantastic year.

Love

dog-tired tuesday

Today felt like a Monday because my husband didn’t work yesterday and I was drowning in all the things I needed to do. I didn’t do any of them by the way. I ended up feeding the kids lunchables and taking a nap with them. Sometimes it’s best to just go with the flow. I can’t be perfect, I just don’t have the time or energy for that.

(I just heard Jameson hop over his baby gate and he’s probably playing in the hall because he knows I’ll make him go right back to bed)

I’m trying to help Jameson learn to sleep on his own again because my husband cannot continue sleeping on his bedroom floor. He is a saint though for doing it for so long just so Jameson wouldn’t be scared. Also I admit that I will miss sleeping alone. I hate being woken up by his alarm at 5:30am. It’s just rude. I think I’m sleeping on the couch tonight though. Ha

I’ve really been trying hard to think of this every day; to wake up and be grateful. I think we forget how blessed we are sometimes and let the mundane tasks of everyday life bog us down when we should just be grateful to be alive. I am a work in progress.

xo kristina.

p.s. pray for me, it’s probably going to be a long night.

9.4

I thought I wasn’t going to make it through the weekend with my sanity intact. I had so much work due. 140 questions on biology homework, 3 quizzes, and a paper. The biology homework took me the longest of course but the quizzes were a breeze. The paper was short but took me a minute to put what I was trying to say into words. But! I got all of it done by Saturday night. Everything is always due Sunday night but I try to relax on Sundays so I aim for Saturday. Thank goodness I got it all done just in time.

I woke up late for church this morning because I slept awful and then fell back asleep late. When I woke up I had 30 minutes to jump out of bed, get dressed, start Sunday lunch, and race out the door. We had lunch at my house with family after church and it was nice. I love family lunches on Sundays. After lunch I took my traditional nap and that’s about as eventful as it got.

I’ve been working on purging my house.. very slowly. I have been needing to go through the kids clothes for the longest time. It’s such a pain though. As I’ve been doing laundry I throw anything that doesn’t fit the kids into a trash bag and when it’s full or whenever I’m done I’ll take it to donate. I love getting rid of things we don’t need anymore. It’s sort of freeing. I have been trying to let things go more, like material things. Most things we want just for the heck of it but has no real purpose. I like to decorate so that has been a little hard for me but I’m working on it. It also feels good to give things to those who need it.

I just want to show people a little kindness. It’s such a mean world out there these days, any little bit helps.

8.31

Holy moly, it cannot be September already. [Enter cliche “the year has gone by so fast”]. But seriously, I can’t believe how fast it feels like my kids are growing and how slow all at the same time.

I took the day off from any and all school work today. I was T.I.R.E.D. I hustled hard Monday and Tuesday so I took today to just be super lazy and that’s exactly what I did. I took a long nap on the couch and I made boxed mac&cheese and chicken nuggets for lunch. I got a little more sophisticated with chicken, rice, and broccoli casserole for dinner. Minimal effort today man. I did the dishes twice and vacuumed my bedroom but other than that I did nothing. I needed it but now I’m feeling a little regret because I’m going to have so much to read tomorrow and Friday. I try to have everything done by Saturday’s so I can at least enjoy Sunday. I can go to church and not have to worry about needing to go home and do ANYTHING. I love that.

I’m also wondering how so many moms do SO much all the time. Or at least they make it seem that way. Meanwhile I’m over here struggling just to find the energy to brush my own teeth. I really think it’s my anxiety medicine, the second I started taking it my energy took a dive off the empire state building. I also only sleep maybe 3 hours each night which is basically torture. Laying in bed at 3 am wondering what the heck is wrong with me. I can never sleep anymore. It’s so annoying.

I have 120 questions of science homework, two quizzes, and a paper I have to do all before Sunday. Pray for me.

8.28

Well I survived my first week of college. I got everything on time and didn’t fail anything so I’m happy with that alone. I know it’s going to take a little time to adjust to this new life. I’m used to being home all day and juggling a million things at once because of the kids. This is different though. Trying to find time to study, quiet time, is a little difficult. I mostly only have early mornings and late at night because someone is always awake and yelling. Haha. They are always making some kind of noise.

I enlisted the help of my sister, who lives pretty close, to babysit for me a few times a week so I can spend a few hours completely dedicated to my school work. I really want to get awesome grades and not just sail by. I did that when I started college before and I was just doing it, to do it.

I’m excited for this new chapter in my life. Balancing school and family should be interested but I’m ready to dive in. I need a planner so I don’t get behind and lose my mind.

8.26

When this year started I felt so ready to get healthy. Then my son got really sick and I had five million other excuses ready for not taking care of myself. I’m not proud of my health right now and here we are at the end of August and I’ve barely done anything.

College started this week and I’ve been doing pretty well with that. I haven’t had a lot of trouble making sure I get enough time to study. Why is it that I can make time to study but I can’t “find the time” to eat right and exercise? Or at least just eat right. Last weekend we went shopping and I stood in the Kohls dressing room with my plus size clothes wondering what happened.. I don’t think I’ve really seen myself like that until then. I need to make a serious change and stick. to. it. If I can find time to study or find the time to go get sonic for dinner, I can sure as hell find the time to meal prep or make something that won’t make us all feel like shit.

It’s really hard to be so open about this because I never talk about this with anyone. I guess it’s a lot of fear. I’ve gotten so comfortable in my big clothes and never leaving the house because I don’t want other people to look at me. Pathetic.

I’m ready to make a change. I’m ready to take my life back and stop feeling like a prisoner in my own body. I’m going to use my blog to keep myself motivated and check-in once in a while to document my progress or just vent, whatever.

July 14

Goodness, I have been neglecting this blog for a while.

It’s 11pm so I’m in bed browsing the web like I usually do. Probably a bad habit.

I was just thinking about how fast the summer is going by. My littlest baby’s birthday is next month. Next month. That’s insane.

I am so excited for school to start. I have to order books in a few weeks and get a few supplies I’ll need. I have to get a new laptop. My old one is busted.

Anyways, I’m on a home cleaning spree. I’ve been getting rid of so many things lately that we either don’t use or just don’t need. It’s the most wonderful feeling to get rid of some clutter. This house has very limited storage space or maybe I need to organize better. Im not sure. Most of our crap ends up in the basement so we have been clearing that out some too.

I know my husband likes it because he works down there or in the garage a lot. And why not make a little spare change in the process? I love Facebook for that. I might list a few more things tomorrow. I’m having trouble because I want to get rid of everything and start over now haha
❤

Starting college. Yikes!

Well after FIVE. YEARS. of working then being a stay-at-home-mom I have finally decided I am ready to go back to school. I took a math placement test yesterday, Lord help me. I am just downright awful at math. I always have been. The only math I use is when I’m budgeting or grocery shopping and that is literally only addition and subtraction. HAHA*crying

 

Does anybody even read this shit?

 

News Years Solution

Well we are now a month into the new year and I am still going strong. I have had a few slip ups here and there. We had a week where we were so insanely busy that I had a tough time with dinner. Dinner in the car is hard especially with a toddler. So we did eat out a few times during that week but quickly got our act together when things settled back down. We are not typically very busy, at all. A large majority of our days are very “relaxed”. Like as relaxed as staying at home with two little kids can be. Trust me, I don’t sit around all day. I’m busy in my own right.

We’re just not get-up-and-go busy like a lot of people.

 

Anywayssss.

 

I had tried plexus in an effort to really get my shit together. I wanted it to help with cravings and eating out of boredom. I won’t get into too much detail but I stopped using it after about a week. I was having “symptoms” I guess you could say, that I had never had before and I didn’t have a good feeling about it. I emailed them about sending it back for a refund since they advertise that so well and they are taking their sweet time getting back to me. I’m not surprised.

That said! I really wanted to find something that could help me along as I get healthy and in shape. My shape.

I usually wake up pretty early and eat breakfast because that’s when my youngest thinks is a cool time to wake up. Usually around 6AM. LORD. Eating breakfast that early, I always always always have a problem with getting snacky between then and lunch time. So I drank a new shake I’m trying and it really helped me not feel hungry. I actually got a few things done around the house and I wasn’t starving. So I really liked that and the flavor was really good. I’ve tried a lot that were chalky and this wasn’t at all. Bonus. I never thought I’d find one that wasn’t chalky.

I strolled upon these as I was grocery shopping yesterday after I had already bought the powder on Amazon and thought “Why not?”. I’m pretty excited about this one.